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Wolowitz
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Post subject: Re: How should I kill her? Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 8:13 pm |
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:37 pm Posts: 363 Location: In the closet Gender: male
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Right before she leaves, profess your undying love for her. Be as dramatic as possible. Lure her into a false sense of security. Then pull out a knife, and stab her in the back. That way you get bonus points for being literal and figurative. Wipe off the knife. Take your mother's car out for a ride "to the store." But not before getting a neutral deodorant. If you don't have that, get an extremely strong smelling thing. Like a perfume or a cleaner. Spray it all over her. Use 2 or 3 bottles if you have to. This is of course to at least try to cover up the smell. You should still have the knife. Use it to peel off all of the skin, and smash all the bones. Literally destroy the body. Then dump the body, with the knife. But wipe it off with something first. Keep what you used to wipe it off in sight. Don't forget about it. If they search the car and find her DNA on it, you're done. Actually go to the store now. Buy some snacks. Pull up to the driveway and subtlety rinse the car off with a hose. Just in case. Put some gas in the car to make your mom happy and a little less suspicious. This will serve as a good alibi for why it took extra time. Say you ran into a friend (not a close friend, just in case she calls the parent and finds out or something). In fact, a made up friend would be preferable. Say you forgot some stuff from the store in the car. Grab whatever you used to wipe the knife off and anything else that could implicate you in any way and bring it back into the house. Put it into your wastebin and cover it up with some tissues, wrappers, and paper.
But wait! Don't look up anything on google that has anything to do with murder. In fact, I recommend you look up cheesy and kind of odd but nonsuspicious stuff like "why do I love my gf so much? <3". Remember. But then proceed to go about your business as usual. Suspicion is the key. If they don't suspect you and have no reason to then you'll be fine.
Also delete this thread.
Don't let it overwhelm you. Act sad. Even put stuff in your eyes to make you cry. Lock yourself in your room and act like you're grieving.
If you need more tips just PM.
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Jake
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Post subject: Re: How should I kill her? Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:44 pm |
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Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2009 7:48 pm Posts: 2691 Gender: male
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I can see you guy's really didn't like me leaving bd temporarily for her 0.0
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flash9k
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Post subject: Re: How should I kill her? Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:34 pm |
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Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 7:18 pm Posts: 7
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maxattack
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Post subject: Re: How should I kill her? Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:14 am |
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Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 8:09 pm Posts: 1895 Location: Look behind you. Theres a shadow. Look at where it is. It isnt me Gender: male
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Show her Simens pony
_________________ Retired AANC Mentor | Retired MT Member | CMoTM | SoTM IGN(s) : Maxattack, MAXS
Retired player, trying to come back again.
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OmegaXII
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Post subject: Re: How should I kill her? Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 7:52 am |
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Lieutenant Major |
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Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:24 pm Posts: 2325 Location: no location for you Gender: female
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flash9k wrote: http://articles.cnn.com/2012-08-14/asia/world_asia_thai-politician-shooting_1_submachine-gun-gun-ownership-thai-parliament wtf how do you accidentally shoot and kill someone with an uzi
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Dawnice
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Post subject: Re: How should I kill her? Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 7:55 am |
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Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:22 pm Posts: 2284 Location: Stalker!
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May I suggest bombing the girl's bathroom while she's in there.
_________________ 你是千堆雪 我是长街 怕日出一到 彼此瓦解
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aister
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Post subject: Re: How should I kill her? Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 9:30 am |
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Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:48 am Posts: 7985 Location: Fuyuki City Gender: male
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Dawnice wrote: May I suggest bombing the girl's bathroom while she's in there. that would just kill her instantly... no fun
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Dawnice
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Post subject: Re: How should I kill her? Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 10:05 am |
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Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:22 pm Posts: 2284 Location: Stalker!
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aister wrote: Dawnice wrote: May I suggest bombing the girl's bathroom while she's in there. that would just kill her instantly... no fun Water torture? Or the other Chinese one where you slice off pieces of the person slowly until they die of loss of blood?
_________________ 你是千堆雪 我是长街 怕日出一到 彼此瓦解
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OmegaXII
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Post subject: Re: How should I kill her? Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 11:33 am |
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Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:24 pm Posts: 2325 Location: no location for you Gender: female
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or do the classic tie each other there limbs to a horse and send em off in different directions
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aister
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Post subject: Re: How should I kill her? Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:29 pm |
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Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:48 am Posts: 7985 Location: Fuyuki City Gender: male
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Dawnice wrote: aister wrote: Dawnice wrote: May I suggest bombing the girl's bathroom while she's in there. that would just kill her instantly... no fun Water torture? Or the other Chinese one where you slice off pieces of the person slowly until they die of loss of blood? that was my suggestion, with improvements
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