next round

Who is this Captain Pie? I cannot fathom to think any random person could even challenge my ego, much less come close to equal it. Right, it doesn't matter who it is: this is a contest, and it is pretty much over, since the time I was allowed in it. So here is what I say: Captain Pie, flap your gums on who you are now, before I crush you like a twig. You have the chance of your next post, if this one hasn't crushed you already. Savour it.

I thank Shelton for placing me against you since you dont even have an ego. What you call an ego is a joke, people spit at you when they see you and think youre a beggar. When people see me, they bow to my feet and think im the king, ofc they arent wrong. Ill crush you as if you were a bug, ill step on you and squish you dry. I could throw a pie at your face since im the king of all pies but your not even worth that!

If you do not wish to be annihalated, do not reply for i shall destroy both you and your pathetic excuse of an ego.
Shall we close this thread already? This battle vs you is getting boring, id rather challenge someone with atleast a shred of an ego.

Reply if you wish but you know youve been completely and utterly crushed, anything you say now will simply end up humiliating you further.

-Pie (Coz potato is too mainstream)

I also thank Shelton for me being your oponent, as any other person would have such an inferior knowledge and reasoning that wouldn't be able to understand your almost intelligible writing. Your statement that I have no ego, I would understand: my ego is so beyond your boundaries that you cannot grasp even a fraction of it. You are too busy with your kingdom fantasies to even look beyond your two feet, leave alone grow an ego. For if you were king I would be the President of Puerto Rico! As of throwing a pie at me... you serious? I get more pie in a week than you get in a lifetime!

I laugh at your tries to shut me up, telling me it's hopeless to post again. Really? Who are you to tell me what is and what is not? Wait, it doesn't matter who you are, even if you are a nobody to say such a thing. Only I get the privilege to declare my own victory, which is not less as assured, given the fact that the heavens and the earth have not united against me: fixing such an intriguing situation is the only thing that can distract me from utterly and completely destroy you and anybody else in this forum. You, my friend (be overwhelmed with honor that I gave you such a title) have the priviledge of dreaming your brain off on how you can get close to my greatness. And you also have the priviledge, if just for four more posts, to choose whether to honorably step back from an impossible dream, or die a horrible cyberdeath.

With ego, Vault Dweller - not that you didn't know already

my ego is so big it has a gravitational pull with moons!

Hah! The only thing you have the priviledge to do is to decide how many more posts ill have to make before you finally surrender to my ungodly ego.
You say that the heavens and the earth have not united against you but i have already risen far beyond both the heavens and the earth, the universe bows down before me and i cannot be brought down by a mere mortal such as yourself.
Im the king of all pies and therefore the creator of all pies, it is not even possible for you to have had more pies than me, nevertheless, your foolishness can be forgiven since you, being a mortal have not been given the great gifts that i have.
The only thing that i cannot grasp is your foolishness to challenge my heavenly wrath!
Only one thing awaits you now and that is pure humiliation, even if you step back now, you will gain no honour, only more humiliation due to the utter defeat you are about to experience.
You have no hope for my ego is greater than a million star systems combined, its greater than the entire universe and definitely much greater than your puny, sorry excuse for an ego.
You will suffer from much more than just a cyberdeath, you will suffer from the great humiliation of utter defeat, but fear not, for having been able to challenge me, even for just a few posts is a great honour and priviledge in itself for you and you will always remember that you got the chance to challenge the great king of pies, the great CaptainPie!

Shelton, you may proceed to the next round now, i believe that vault dweller has given up by now unless he wants to suffer from an even greater defeat.

I won this battle before it even started, i should be moved straight to the finals due to my unmatched, godly ego!

-CaptainPie (I am awesome)

...And you still need a signature to let everyone know this was by you. Or did you search it through Youtube? All I'm hearing from you is the same dellusional argument, that you are of a supperior race, that gives you powers, that gives you ego, then you're better than everyone. Give me a break: wait no, I do not need such a thing. It is true I am mortal... yet I can do every single thing you do. How is that? Well, I'm simply that damn good. You couldn't be awesome even if I invent the way to put it on a pill and made you swallow a couple (of pills). Much less have an ego greater than mine: you mentioned universes, planets, heavens and the earth, yet my ego is so far beyond them, such terms to compare it to still cannot even help you understand how gigantic it is.

And for a king of all pies, you really do not know what pie is. So I must change my statement: I get more pie in a night than you get in a lifetime! I get money, I get power, I get wisdom, yet at the end of the day, the only thing you get is dumber. Right now, all you can say is that you're from another race, have some oopa loompa powers, and you'll humiliate me with them. Humilitation? Me? If I make something, that is the correct way to do it. You say you're right, I say you're left; so you are left. Did your brain grow enough for you to understand a single thing I've written so far?

And I certainly will not step back for you or for anyone: it's not like I need to So, instead of ungodly, your ego should be godly: at least that way, you'd have something to pray at for a chance that you at least do not pass as a complete tool, after daring to even say your ego is bigger than mine. You got as much support for that falacy as Superman has from kryptonite