walmart pawns? lol they're from heghan you ignorant baboon!


down to a mere 100 soldiers left, we make a desperate decision. something we haven't had to pull out since duo created FACK.


sending 50 men back to get 'them' we set ourselves up for the worst. pulling out our grenade launchers and bombard your advancing forces. 10 snipers gather along the wall and fire. running low on ammunition, and getting closed in we prepared for surrender.

but then, they returned! and they brought the secret weapons: the arc towers. launching lightning through the crowds of pawns, you were quickly pushed back.

my hilll

''My damn lungs are about to burst.'' Climb, climb, almost fall, climb, climb, almost fall. I'm being deprived of Oxygen. The piercing wind slaps me on the cheek, as if to mock me. As if it was a malevolent being with a consciousness. ''Whoa, what kinds of things have the owners of this been putting here? I warned everyone on land about the radioactive oreo monsters but I guess people don't take that stuff seriously.'' I can't talk anymore, there's no oxygen to be spared. Higher and higher, but where does higher lead to? What's waiting up there for me?

*Snap*


''What the hell was that?''

A flash of light blinds me, and I fall. Fall to my inevitable death.


I wake up, seconds later? minutes later? Surely not more than 2 hours later? The smell of exhaust fumes remind me of back home.

''The hell.... am I in a plane?''


There's a pilot. He seems to be of a small stature, possibly a young kid. What would a young kid be doing here? He slowly turns his face.


''Oh my GOD! Oh my GOD! It's.... It's.... It's.... Ponk! This must be the famous cow copter I've been hearing so much about!''


Everything falls silent. The silence is unbearable. It brings about a certain boredom and loneliness that makes you want to go crazy, kill everyone and cite insanity as the reason. In the distance I see a faint outline of a building.

''Ponk, what is that?'' I ask, finally breaking the silence.


''Ah. Dyl, prepare to meet your greatest challenge yet. There, in that extensive yet poorly built temple, reside the souls of KoTH past. You know that quote from the sixth sense about seeing dead people?''

''Ya.''

''Well, you're going to see a *CENSORED* of dead people in there!'' Ponk laughs, but his laughter soon is carried away, never to be heard again.


Finally, we land. I shake Ponk's hand, say goodbye, all the while knowing goodbye could be quite literal. He flies away, off off to Neverland. Nah, I'm just kidding. He went to Chuck e Cheese, maybe to play that new racing game, maybe to just eat pizza. Whatever the reason, godspeed to him. Godspeed.


Too bad I stole his bag. Hmm... a knife, a water bottle, a useless rock, and much needed food. I throw away everything but the rock. Up, up and away! At a new record, I'm up there in 15 minutes.


I walk over to the intimidating temple. ''Come on dyl, you can do this.'' I enthusiastically but cautiously extend my arm outward, and open the heavy steal door.

This house looks exactly like the mansion from Scarface, with the stairs on each side and the fountain in the middle. I suddenly learn Parkour and jump over the stairs, into the office. I slowly open the door. I open to a spammers reunion. Kenny's there, Rederoin is there, Alex is there, TMOG is there, everyone past and present is there. While excluding Ponk of course. But on the computer in the corner, there are pictures of him playing Skee ball.

There's punch on the table. Punch? Really?!!!?!? Punch?!?!?! I grab my magic vile of Arsenic and pour it into the punch, all the guests unaware. I'm greeted by Aister, but like everyone else I don't want to talk to him. It's only a matter of time now...

Back on the hill my forces retreat, morale crushed the ligthning strikes again, "*CENSORED*" I yell, as another 20 soldiers is turned to ash. I call out to my men, calling the last retreating soldiers cowards. My second in command Targoon run's up to bring me the bad news.

"All of our front lines lie defeated, reserves are depleating the troops are disbanding... I think we may have lost this one." I agreed with my second in command but as we turned around, the rest of my elite knights stopped us, smiles on all there faces, I ask them what the hell is there to smile about and then I see it. The thousands of troops following a lost friend, commander Dixian, once conqueror of thousands but disapeared at sea had returned this time with more troops than I could comprehend. 12,000 men at least.

I turn around once again, this time to call forth my reserved troops, only 100 troops had remained, but I wasn't going to let Dixian steal my glory. after a inspiring speech I charged with them followed soon by Dixian, and we prevailed after some struggle.

Climbing more and more, my breath's becoming quicker and deeper with every step I get to the top and enter in a duel with my arch nemisees, Tenkai after a long battle and taking severe hits to my sides I fall, Tenkai about to kill me Tenkai is hit with a arrow, right in the leg. Tekai rolls down the hill limping away, I watch him run, for I am in no shape to chase him.

I look to my left and there stand Dixian with a gigantic smile on his face. I did not hear exactly what he said before I passed out but I laughed anyway.

My hill.

epic story is epic... jakes hill

steals jake's story
Claw's hill

steals jake's story
Claw's hill
sorry for double post my browser just flashed and i didnt think it sent (edited)

double post fail.

jakes hill again.

I promote Sethex to a Officer of the Holy Nitrate 1st Infantry Division

(currently contains no troops, its his job to go get them )

throws sticky gernade at Jake Bye bye
my hill