maolain, read original post or you're just going to keep getting ignored...

After the bombing run is left, there is nothing but ruins in the grey streets...rubble crackles under your feet, and suddenly your knees give way as you see The Cake in pieces on the ground. You start crying for your adversary, crying that such a talent had finally been destroyed, crying for your life has no meaning now that The Cake is dead. You pick up your fork and approach The Cake....
But you were wrong...The Cake does not die. The pieces start crawling towards each other. You take a step back in shock. The frosting between nearby crumbs mingle and draw each other in......
The Cake is back.
You start running backwards in fear. A cracked bottle trips you but you brush it off and scramble like an animal. You run for your life, feet pounding the empty street, not daring to stop, not daring to take time to breathe.
Finally, you run out of energy. Stumbling, you hit the ground with your hands. Slowly, your greasy hair is brushed aside as you take a look back...and there was nothing. Nothing but rubble. The Cake had gone. Tears of joy hit your hands and your dirty face breaks into a smile. Tenkai had survived.
But slowly...an itching in your heart bids you to turn back to where you were running to. Fearful, you look. But there is still nothing. This does not relieve you, and you scramble on your feet, and turn around and around, looking for that evil white sillouhette on the blackened streets.
Then you stop and look...you look in the place you've never wanted to look...in the corner of your eye...
It is The Cake.
You die from fear.

I put The Cake in a box and ship it to France, where I get it drunk on wine. I plan to eat it while it's passed out.

my hair isnt greasy!

The Cake cant get drunk even after 45 bottles of wine.soz..it waits for YOU to get drunk so it can eat you without you struggling.

i befriend the cakes mother to get closer to him

The Cake's mother is a mafia boss. When you take her out to a restaurant, she shoots you with a gun that was glued behind the toilet in the restroom.

[if that passes unnoticed, I'll be very dissappointed]

I organize a petition for the cake to surrender and be eaten.

the cake walks outside and kills all the petitioners saying 'thinking cakes are to be eaten is discrimination!'

im the cakes lawyer in the following lawsuit where he sues you

XD
and the cake supports gay marriage.

Method?

after we win and he hugs me i'd bite him obviously

daerduo stop being a jerk

the cake turns to steel as tenkai bites into it, breaking his jaw

I pour acetic acid on it and watch the acid eat through the steel layer and expose the cake. grateful for freeing it from it's metal prison, the cake grants me a wish. My wish is to obtain the cake

meh. whatever you say dude.

The Cake allows itself to be eaten. You eat the Cake, and your eyes swell up with tears because...well, no one knows actually. Because The Cake then proceeds to eat you from the inside out right after you swallow the first bite.

I try to catch the cake in a pokeball so that i can release it on a plate to be eaten.

the pokeball backfires and catches you. the cake then summons a giant rock to crush the pokeball with you in it.

I lure the cake into a giant freezer and after it is good and frozen I enjoy some nice frozen cake.

(if you've never eaten cake frozen, I suggest trying it. it tastes really good frozen.)

Your long, weird replies guide the cake right into my mouth. Yum.