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MmCm6
 Post subject: Re: Ferr3t made a post!!!
PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 11:26 pm 
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Also, one tiny thing that I personally recommend that you may or may not worry about: try to make your essay flow. It's amazing how good an essay looks when information just rolls out instead of being clustered up. Again, I bring as an example your second paragraph, where you jumped from rational thinking to political ideals without a transition. Try putting in "In the political side of things" or "The Age of Enlightenment also bolstered new ideals within the political arena" or something to that manner. Make it flow like Aister's blood when anime dies on these forums.

Dawnice wrote:
You said "a council" at first, then switched to "the council", I'd keep one or another. Also, sometimes you capitalize "king" and sometimes you don't.
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poor to get poorer.

I'm stuck on this one. I would say "more poor", but I guess it's up to you.


Try: "...widening the gap between the rich and the poor." but it doesn't have the same effect as the original statement.

Good luck on that paper btw :)

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Jake
 Post subject: Re: Ferr3t made a post!!!
PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:59 am 
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I read through the paper, and if you follow with these suggestions you should get an A on that paper :P

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Tenkai
 Post subject: Re: Ferr3t made a post!!!
PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 1:29 am 
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i am VERY disappoint babe. you only visited us for help with your homework. :(

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Jake
 Post subject: Re: Ferr3t made a post!!!
PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 1:37 am 
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Tenkai wrote:
i am VERY disappoint babe. you only visited us for help with your homework. :(


ikr

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