I find myself losing touch with the world more and more each day. All throughout my life I've always known I was different. Growing up, I understood things the other kids didn't. I was smarter than the other kids and I was invincible. Things started going down hill for me around aged 12. I was still the smarted and different from everyone else, but I had lost friends. From this age onward I would only have 1 or less friends at a time. I started having troubling thoughts and began doubting my reality.

Now I am an adult and I realise how wrong I was. Although I still feel that way, even though I know it can't be right. Otherwise why would i be doing so badly in life?

I'm too depressed to do anything productive. And I can't stand other people, so I avoid them. Sometimes if I'm in public I feel like screaming and pulling my hair out just because they don't understand. There have been times I've completely lost it and caused a scene then had to sprint away incase the police were called. Because I think they are all stupid and I hate them. I don't feel they deserve anything (even though when I think about it, alot of them do. It's just first reaction to seeing someone, I think the worst of them). I've been talking to people inside my head, not out loud, more and more often as the years go by. To a point that we speak regulary each day. Repeating people are a male and female doctor, and a parent that doesnt exist who is also the same age as me. Other times it's just random peoples voices that never return though. Sometimes they tell me to punish myself, or to do bad things. But I quickly figure out that they are plotting against me and trying to ruin things. They get angry when I catch them out but I'm the one in controll and quickly fend them off. I can only trust the doctors. The other random voices speaking to me generally have bad intentions.

I often get paranoid and think people (real physical people) are listening in on my thoughts or trying to mess with them, so I quickly change my thoughts to 100 different things and try to act normal but then they know I know they are listening, so I attempt to think of the sickest, most disturbing things I can in hopes of scaring them away.

I also often fantasize about being a multi-billionaire or being extremely powerful/invincible physically. Then when I snap out of it and come back to reality I get so depressed because I know it's the complete opposite. Which brings those voices who will brag about their lives and make me feel worse. I know I'm not like them though. No one is like me and I am capable of understanding the universe like no one else.


EDIT: Feel free to move this to spam. It might be more at home there.

Cold? Better get a snuggie.








Cause you ain't messing with my dougie.



Couldn't resist

What's a snuggie?